Earlier this year, Kassie turned 15.
Where has the time gone?
That little girl that loved Elmo is now taller than me.
Lately she’s had to deal with some things that no teen should have to deal with. We’ve spent many late nights talking. I wasn’t ready for some of the things that we discussed, but it made me realize that
A. I have some much to teach her before she heads to college in a few years and
B. Matt and I have raised an amazing kid.
Inspired by all these talks, I’ve put together this list of 13 things to tell your daughter before she’s 13.
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I Love You!
Every girl deserves to be loved and needs to hear those 3 words often.
You CAN do it!
We should be the biggest fans of our daughters. We should encourage them to believe they can do anything.
Don’t Keep Things Bottled Up
Girls need to have someone that they can come to with anything. Be close enough to your daughter so that she knows that she can come to you. Let her know that you’re there for her… NO MATTER WHAT!
Don’t Fight For Acceptance
Girls want to be accepted and they want to be liked. At the same time we don’t want our daughters to stop being the real them in order to please other people or be liked by them. If someone truly is your friend, then they’ll accept you for who you really are.
Women often are obsessed with getting approval from everyone, but here’s the thing: It’s impossible to please everyone. The only person who absolutely must like you is YOU.
Give To Others
Serving and giving to others feels immensely better than serving and giving to yourself.
I Value Your Opinion
It is alright for them to disagree with you and others. They’re old enough to have a point of view and you should want to hear it. Their perspective is both valid and valuable. Don’t let them shy away from expressing it.
A smile can change your day; it can make you feel good on the inside and light up the life of others who see it. Sometimes it’s hard work to smile, but the return for your effort is well worth it!
Girls should surround themselves with people who love them for who they are and ditch those who make them feel bad about themselves. They shouldn’t have to change who they are for anyone and if they meet a person who makes you feel that way, they are not your friend.
Make Goals and Have Dreams
Setting goals is an important part of your daughter gaining some independence and realizing she has some control over her own life. When your daughter begins to decide for herself what she wants to accomplish, she’ll be motivated to complete things for her own satisfaction, rather than for the satisfaction of others.
It’s Not You. It’s Them.
What I mean is when people act in a way that hurts or makes them feel insecure, it is almost certainly about something happening inside of them, and not about your daughter. Their head might know otherwise by their heart still wants to shatter into a million pieces. But maybe, just maybe, it will help to remember that almost always other people are struggling with their own demons, even if they bump into your daughter by accident.
Don’t judge people (but know that they will be judged)
It’s a catch-22. Teach your daughter to not to assume things about people simply by the way they look or the clothes they wear; unfortunately the rest of the world won’t always do the same.
This situation is only temporary
This When things are going wrong, they need to know that it won’t last forever and a brighter day is just around the corner. Equally, when things are good, savor every minute and enjoy it as much as they can; memories of good days are what make tough times easier.
Do you have any tips that you’d say to your daughter?